the life and times of emily

I just started a new blog because I felt that this lil fella was becoming more like a Pinterest. SO, if you would like to see design, music, and inspiration, displayed beautifully follow my new blog designfieldnotes.tumblr.com

I will be updating that blog much more frequently with much more high quality content! If you like mixtapes too, I will be posting my mixtapes on that blog as well!

Enjoy!

whatshouldbetchescallme:

whatshouldbetchescallme:

PART ONE, COMPLAIN

this. semester. sucked. honestly, truly, it was probably the worst 4ish months of my life. here’s the breakdown: starting a minor that doesn’t come naturally, living situation troubles, and doubting myself…the combination of not even wanting to go back to my apartment plus an extraordinarily difficult course load plus comparing myself to anyone and everyone brought me down to rock bottom quite a few times. in other words i don’t think i’ve cried as much in my entire life as i did this semester. it was rough. and now with the extreme burden of applying for internships i can’t deal. i feel like i am a product in an assembly line waiting to be tossed onto the next. if you don’t have connections at a company i feel like your work means absolutely nothing. no matter how hard a worker you are or how dedicated you could be or frankly how kickass an intern you can prove yourself as, all of that is moot to the strangers tossing aside your resume like expired coupons.

PART TWO, SLAP TO FACE

today was a pinnacle of that stress for me. i was looking at the job site of on of the companies i had applied to and started to lose hope. literally, all day i could not stop worrying about whether someone had taken the internship that i would sell my soul for. i couldn’t even hold a conversation with my mom who so dearly took my brother out for a fun dinner on the town, just because. all because of some stupid internship. now i know that these things can dictate your future, but i just got to thinking that the way i feel about these subjective, evil things is not okay. this is not something that will destoy me if i don’t end up at said soul-stealing-internship. i will not die if i don’t get that job. of course i will be sad for awhile, but i’d completely lost all perspective of the world. i am so lucky, and so fortunate to live the life i lead and for a whole semester i was so stuck inside my own head that i couldn’t see that.

PART THREE, RESOLUTION

so after all that, what i’ve decided that i need to do is find the balance. i know it sounds really dumb but college can completely screw a person’s mind over. the pressure can get to be way too much, and sometimes i need to say no. i also need to learn to not be so hard on myself. the job market is a total bitch right now, and if i kill myself over every lost opportunity and every “i should have but i didn’t” i will have to be committed. it’s a really hard thing to do, but keeping perspective on what is so good about the life i lead needs to be a priority. i’m so lucky, and the moment that i forget that is the moment that i need to step back from my own self and just reflect.

I feel like Laura Ingalls Wilder discovering Zenon girl of the 21st century’s space station. Zeedus lepedus!